the radio

The familiar sounds of K102 are playing lightly right now in the math resource center, I am a teacher's assistant for Denny and it can get pretty quiet up here. I don't know what I would do without the music. Music in general is something that makes people happy. I know for myself, my mood will instantly brighten if I here the lyrics to one of my favorite songs. There is simply nothing better than that moment when a song comes on the radio that perfectly outlines your mood, whether it's happy or sad. While I'm driving, music is a constant. Whoever sits in the passenger's seat next to me knows that as soon as a radio station turns to static, I like it turned immediately. Another station, for constant music. That's just the way I like it.

thinking

thinking

no more worry about the coming hurricane

lie me down and sleep

with no tomorrow

crouching like a hungry beast

no more fear of what will be 

and what will shiver lost in freezing accusations 

I will not think

no never think again 

I will just live

pasta parties

I remember when I first joined the Champlin Park swim team in eighth grade I was very confused on what these famous "pasta parties" were. There was one scheduled the night before almost every swim meet. Only later did I discover the deliciousness and magic that occurred at these events. After a long practice, the team would be given directions to the location of that night's pasta party. It was always at someone on the team's house, a different swimmer every time. I would climb into our family's truck and my dad said he would drive me. When I got there, I noticed the mountain of various types of shoes that everyone had taken off and left in the entryway. I placed mine near the others, hoping that they wouldn't be lost in the sea of shoes. Walking down the hallway there was familiar chatter and laughter that I was used to. And the kitchen, the first time I saw it.... SO much food, it was amazing. I wasn't hungry before but after seeing the various types of pasta, salads and garlic bread, I heard my stomach growl. I filled up my plate and grabbed a glass of milk when I realized the dessert table. No room was left on my plate though! I made a mental note to grab a cookie later and sat down next to a group of friendly upperclassman swimmers. They greeted me and I smiled, taking my seat I began to nibble on everything. I looked around and saw the other girls wolfing down their food like it was some sort of Olympic event. One of them mentioned that they were on their third plate of food! Another girl had an entire plate of just garlic bread. It was like Thanksgiving, only with Italian food. It was so good, I quickly realized I was beginning to eat faster as well. "Carboloading". Apparently eating a bunch of carbohydrates before a big race was somehow beneficial to you. I'm not sure how that works, but all I know is, I'm a fan!

bridesmaids

On Saturday my family has a tradition of watching a movie together. I was excited for this weekend because I knew Bridesmaids was finally on On Demand. We were watching it in the afternoon instead of Saturday night because my family always watches the Gophers play football. (They would lose terribly to NDSU that Saturday, an embarrassment, but this is not a football rant post...) The movie was filled with tons of recognizable and favorite faces: John Hamm, who I love to watch as Don Draper in Mad Men, the actress that played "Sookie" in Gilmore Girls as well as two of my favorite Saturday Night Live ladies. It was hilarious, just like everyone had told me. Every time people had talked about it, they seemed surprised that I hadn't seen it yet since I am known for knowing everything about films. I laughed at every line, especially one of my favorite's of the movie where the mom mentioned that the movie Castaway had just been added to Netflix, saying "it's like Forest Gump on an island!"

college applications

Sitting at the kitchen table, I notice that I have over ten tabs open on my computer. Links to my email, my resume, all of my essays, the webistes for the different colleges I'm applying to and iTunes. I always imagined applying to colleges as this very exciting time... and it is, but I never pictured entering my information in thousands of sites. Applying to colleges is exciting, just not actual application part. That has evoked other feelings including anxiety and stress. My mom sitting near me, reading, is laughing at all of my mini panic attacks and exclamations that come out of my mouth every minute. After the long process of entering, and reentering my name and my senior schedule, etc. I press the button that says submit. A huge weight is taken off my shoulder, I've applied. And now that stress is replaced by the anxiety of acceptance.

slippery when wet.

Last night was our third dual swim meet. The new swimmers are becoming used to the rules and how everything works; there's no more mad rushes to get people to their races.

After diving, our team was getting ready for the second half of the meet. Lexi, one of our best swimmers on the team, was walking to check the line-up when she began to slip on the pool deck. I was standing behind her, and quickly grabbed her holding her up. She was screaming in pain and I noticed that her knee wasn't where it was supposed to be. It had been dislocated. You know when there's a scary situation, or something is going terribly wrong and it feels like it's moving in slow motion? That's how it was. I saw Lexi push her knee back into place and she then fell again, but arms still holding her, brought her to the ground slowly. I kept her head from splitting on the wet cold tiled flooring, just call me a lifesaver.

state of frenzy

Tonight, September 21st, 2011, is the National Honor Society Induction Ceremony. As one of the officers this year, I will be giving a speech on one of the four pillars of NHS. My speech tonight is on the pillar of leadership; I have written and practiced my speech. Done. No problem for me, public speaking has never been a difficulty for me, probably because I enjoy talking too much.

The past few weeks during my fourth hour, which I spend being a Teacher's Assistant for Kim Denny, I have folded the programs, assembled the "candles" and printed out the certificates. Hours and hours of work just for this one night. This morning we had the practice ceremony during advisement, us officers went through and said everyone's names when we discovered that the spell corrections I had fixed on the program had not gone through. New member Logan's name still said "Lauren", oops. So after advisement, instead of going to my normal class, French level 5, Mrs. Denny and I raced back up to her computer, eager to fix the problem. We needed to print 200 new copies of the program and fold them by tonight.

As soon as we got to the room, we discovered another big problem. Denny was certain that she had left her jump drive---which contained the program template---at home! She gathered her things quickly and raced home. I sat and waited for a few minutes before deciding that I should keep looking around for that little red jump drive. The first desk drawer I opened contained the jump drive attached to a lanyard that said, "Rebels". I had found it! By opening the same drawer that I had seen Denny open to check if it was there five times. I quickly called her leaving a message of relief, telling her to come back to the school. Proud of myself, I sat down on her chair and typed in the correct spellings of names. Such relief.

sick days.

The clock glowed the time, 6:01 AM. I have never needed an alarm clock. My body would wake its self up at the same time each morning, and I have never overslept. This morning when I woke up, I still felt tired. No, more than that, my body felt like it had been drained of all energy, despite having been asleep for hours. I took another minute to find the strength to pull myself out of bed. Last night before falling asleep, I had been excited about the following day. Today. I even had my outfit that I was planning on wearing lying on the floor next to me. I stood up in my room, and turned the light on. My eyes blinked several times while trying to adjust to the brighter lighting. I took a deep breath, or rather tried to. My throat and nose seemed to be closed, making it near impossible to get a full breath. I had that weak body feeling that everyone gets when there sick, and one of my ears was ringing. I trudged my way to my parent's bedroom, just like any other morning. The news was turned on the television, and my mom was getting ready for work. I sat crosslegged on the foot of their bed and she turned around and commented something that I couldn't hear. The next thing she said to me sounded like, "go back to bed." And I definitely didn't need to be told twice. I collapsed onto my bed, thinking hour by hour of what I would miss today, I didn't make it past 2nd period before I said goodnight to the world once again.

This past Sunday I was working my normal shift: noon until close. It was a solid fifty degrees outside. The ominous gray clouds painted the sky; it was the kind of day that made you want to curl up under blankets and sip on hot chocolate. Definitely not want to work, especially at a golf course. Days like this at a golf course meant that it would be empty. Every minute would seem like an hour. I work in the golf course's grill. It's a two to three person job normally, but today it was just me and the bartender that worked across the room from me. After my "lunch rush", which consisted of me making a BLT for my father, who worked in the Pro Shop, it wasn't much of a rush. After about an hour of no customers, I got out my checklist that our boss gives us of things we have to do before the end of our shift. Starting early on it would mean, more work for me later. The next task I needed to complete on the form said, "Cut fresh vegetables". We technically have a machine that will do that for you, but I much prefer to do it myself, plus I had a surplus of free time. I was cutting the onions, my favorite, I loved making the perfect little circles when I made a foolish mistake. The sharp knife I had been using, sliced through my thumb on my left hand. With pure shock from the pain, I grabbed the nearest towel and applied pressure as hard as I could.

I have always been a wimp when it comes to anything blood related. At the doctor, I almost always faint while receiving a shot, or when they take blood from my arm. To put it simply, I will never do anything in the medical field. I know it isn't a big deal, and I try my hardest not to psych myself out put nothing seems to work. My face and hands starts to get clammy, and I feel lightheaded. My stomach is swirling around uncomfortably, and usually my knees begin to buckle.

I hold the pressure on my thumb a few seconds longer, trying to find the courage to take a quick look at my cut. One... two... three... I say to myself. I remove the towel fast, and just as fast the blood almost begins to squirt out at me. Now nauseous, I replace the towel back on my finger, and squeeze my eyes shut.

This is going to be a long shift.

autumn weather

A mere few weeks ago, the heat was pounding down on the pavement. The summer was filled with no homework and record-breaking hot temperatures. And then bam! Fall. Walking into school last week, I could hear the murmurs of complaints about the chill in the air. Me on the other hand, I was smiling. The sound of the breeze in the trees and the refreshing air I would feel in my lungs with every inhale, these things were my favorite. Autumn is the best season of the year, I picture the leaves changing soon. The vibrant oranges, reds and yellows. How they slowly fall and flutter around the ground, and bluster in the wind. I imagine the young kids that will stop by my house on Halloween, dressed in costumes. A young boy in a Superman costume and a little girl dressed as her favorite Disney princess. I will hand them candy, and see their smiling faces beam up at me. Then they will disappear into the night, the only lights coming from the glowing pumpkins that were carved earlier that day. I await that night that will be here in a little over a month.

weekend to-do.

It's Friday; the last day of school for the week. The weekend is in sight and most students are anticipating time to relax. I am counting all the things I have to do. After school for me will consist of a three hour swim practice. I was planning on going to the football game, but going with your hair wet and when you're this tired doesn't seem like the best fan to have in the bleachers. Instead I will get at least a few hours to myself, time to relax. Eat dinner and watch all of the shows that I had to record during the week. But I'd feel guilty relaxing that much when there is so much to do, so I'm sure I will be completing my economics work and studying for the test we have next week.
Saturday, the perfect opportunity to sleep in... not. I will be waking up at 7 am to once again swim at practice. And even though going back to sleep once that is over seems like a great idea, that won't work either. At noon I have my senior pictures until three. Then finally, finally I will be free for the night! To write my speech on leadership that I will be reading at the National Honor Society induction ceremony on Wednesday. Total party girl right here.

Sunday, I will get to sleep in at least until nine. Then perhaps work on more homework and get ready for work. I work from noon until close; the shift is longer than a school day. I will serve wealthy golfers, the cutest grandmothers in their pastel colored Polo's and plaid printed visors. Standing for eight hours will make my feet kill, but I will still smile.

Now that I am thinking about everything that I need to do this weekend, I'm wishing there was an eigth day of the week. One with nothing to do, but what I want---curl up under the covers and sleep the day away.

ethnography

The dictionary's definition of an ethnography is a branch of anthropology dealing with the scientific description of individual cultures. Our task to immerse ourselves into a culture different from our own is a scary task. Humans by nature like to stay in their comfort zone; they like their version of normal. Before today, I know Erin and I were really anxious about how we were going to make this mystery paper work. The combination of today's field day lecture at the University of Minnesota and our class dicussion really cleared up all of the questions I know the class had. By getting an entire day to spend on this one paper, this one topic gave us so much time. By the end of class, Erin and I had felt confident in our sub-culture as well as our domain. And I know when we were walking down the hallway after the bell had rung, we both mentioned the weight that had been lifted off our shoulders from not knowing what to do before. That uncertainty was replaced by the excitement of taking on this paper.

9/13

Ten years and two days ago marks anniversary of 9/11. Yes, I know I already posted about September 11th, but today I was thinking about how America went into a war and all of the people that stood up to fight for our country. In some countries every young person must serve two years of military service. But the question is: Should we have a similar policy in the United States? It's a debateable topic, and I'm not sure if there is a right opinion, but I know my opinion.

Patriotism is important, so is nationalism and militarism, but I don't think the United States should install a policy that requires everyone to be a part of the military. The first reason being, America is the land of the free. By forcing everyone to participate in the military, you are taking away their independence. Also by having everyone join, you are forgetting that a lot of people are against wars. Fighting might be against their religion and it would be extremly insensitive to make them fight.

Probably the most important reason why a policy for everyone to serve in the military should not be intalled, is because those who serve choose to serve. I have a great amount of respect for those who defend our country, however I don't think all would possess the same passion for serving America like our men and women in uniforms today.

crabby maddy

Apparently You're supposed to catch up on sleep over the weekend, or that's what everyone says. Me? I feel more tired then I was at the end of the school week. My legs ache from standing during my entire seven hour shift this morning. Both Saturday and Sunday I woke up when it was dark outside, that is never a good feeling. Looking at my planner I still have quite a few homework assignments to do, joy. To add to my pile of annoyances, my younger sister Molly continues to pass by my bedroom door singing the most obnoxious songs, with her even more obnoxious voice. I usually have the attention span of a seven year old, but right now I think it's closer to that of a four year old, maybe even three. No motivation. No determination. I just came up with a new game, its called "Lets See How Many Times I Can Check My Facebook Without Realizing No One Has Posted Anything New." I am so tired I think I might start hallucinating any second now... two seconds later: I think I just saw a turtle playing a banjo.

just keep swimming, just keep swimming

I slide my body into the pool. I know it will be cold, but somehow I am still shocked by the frigid waters. A few degrees cooler and I fear there will be ice cubes floating in it, and I will be able to see my breath. And we are supposed to 'warm up' in this? A normal swim meet would have two teams, but since this is an invitaional there are almost ten. Ten teams trying to practice before their races, at the same time, in eight lanes. There are almost sixty girls on my team alone, the pool looks like it is about to expolde. Every girl is swimming the best they can in the miniscule space that they get in the water. My muscles ache as I pull myself along the water, my arms straining with every stroke. Probably from the three hour practice yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that...

Fast forward to the one hundred meter breastroke, my event. It's the last indivdual event of the night, which basically means I had the entire meet to psych myself out, to worry. I stand at the beginning of lane six, half watching the JV swimmer finish her race before I have mine. Just like every basketball player has a routine they do before shooting a free throw, every swimmer has their routine they do before every race. I stretch out my muscles one last time and retighten my goggles that I had just adjusted thirty seconds prior. The girl that just finished struggles to pull herself out of the water, breathing heavily and face red. Funny, that will be me in a little over a minute.

I step up onto the block, curling my toes around the edge of the platform. Finding my balance I wait for the ever familiar: "Take your mark...", then the starter noise. The reaction is so quick, I am not even sure how my brain told my body to dive that quickly. After my body pierces the water I finally begin to swim. Finding the right tempo and speed is hard when you have no idea what the clock says. The last twentyfive yards is when your muscles just die. It feels like my body is going to give out, but it's the last lengh and I can see the end... so all I have to do is just keep swimming.

the eleventh day of the ninth month

If you ask anyone where they were during the terrorist attack on September 11th, 2001 they will be able to give you a detailed response to where they were when they watched this tragedy unfold. And my story is no different.

Like all of my fellow classmates, I was in the second grade. It was the beginning of the school year and all of us that we were so superior now that we weren't the youngest in the school anymore. Unlike my classmates, I wasn't at school that day. My younger sister, Molly and I were both sick from school and home with our mother.

I remember sipping a juice box, bundled up in blankets and watching the Lion King for the thousandth time when my mom received a phone call. It was my aunt, I didn't hear what she said but all of a sudden my mom turned off the movie and changed it to a local news station.

There were images on the screen of a really tall building that looked like a piece was missing from it, and there was lots and lots of smoke. I remember asking my mom what movie this scene was from. When she told me it wasn't from a movie and that it was happening now I was confused. It was so sad. When the camera first showed the people jumping from the building, my mom made us leave the room. It took me a few days to process what exactly had happened.

Now, ten years later... I can tell you where I was on the tenth anniversary of the 9/11 attack. At work. I work in the grill at Fox Hollow Golf Club; I had the opening shift today so I had to get up early. The cleaning lady was the only one there before me and she was sitting in the clubhouse watching the news. For a half hour I listened to the people at the 9/11 tribute read off the names in alphabetical order of those who died. A half hour. And when I looked on the screen they were only in the "C's". They had barely made a dent in the alphabet. In that moment of discovery, I got a shiver down my back and I could feel the water pooling in my eyes.

It had been ten years, but it still felt like it was ten had been 10 days. And I knew I would still hold this same memory on the 50^th anniversary of September 11^th

win me over in five minutes or less...

There is always an awkward moment when it is just you and one other person standing in an elevator, such a confined space for silence... I pressed the button for my floor and turned around. In a matter of a few seconds there were a few details that let me know who this was. The Badger mascot embroidered onto this man's shirt and the multitude of folders that all spelled out the same word on the front, admissions. This was the admissions counselor for the University of Wisconsin Madison. This was my chance to get into the school of my dreams.

The nerves coursed through my veins, anxiety coming over me quickly. I couldn't mess this up. Then the words just stumbled out of me; I heard myself introduce myself to the counselor and then the words coming out of my mouth seemed to be coming from my heart, not my brain.

I just applied to your school, what are the odds? I chose Madison, but why should you choose me? I believe strongly that my presence will enrich the school's community. How do I know this? First off, I am a selfless person. Making people happy and helping others is something that is of my nature. One of my strongest things I live by is helping a "we" before "me". This belief also leads me into my next reason for why I can enrich your school. I am a leader. My entire life I have gotten a jump start on things and pushed to get people moving. It started when I was born a week early, I guess you could say I wanted to get a jump start on life. My personality is outgoing, to say the least, and that has encouraged me to be a leader in the school and my community. I am captain of the swim and dive team as well as the golf team for the past two seasons. Being a good role model is something that I have always strived for and expected in myself. And I was also given the opportunity to increase my volunteering when I became a National Honor Society officer. This expereince in leading large groups of people and learning how to run an organization has given me important knowlege and life skills for college and beyond. One of the life experiences that I owe a lot to is my time spent in the Boundary Waters. In the middle of nowhere you learn a lot about yourself with the silences. I learned how to become independent, but also the importance of working together with others to get things done. Patience and problem solving is what I was taught in the middle of the woods, and this experience has shaped me into who I am. And given the opportunity, I am confident I could shape the Madison into an even greater learning community.

typical morning in the boundary waters

The sun had just begun to shine, and the water on the lake was still unmoving and calm, only a slight breeze making the water ripple in delight. The grass was covered in dew, cold against my bare feet. The air was cold and fresh against my city-smelling nose. Silence was the only thing to be heard, I wondered if everyone else was quiet like me, admiring the baby blue sky, the dense pine trees and the glistening water. It was like a world of green separating two worlds of blue. The Boundary Waters if my favorite place to visit during the hot summers. The weather is cooler here because it is located near the northern tip of Minnesota. The trees across my island seem to dance in the wind, never completely still. The water is like glass, mirroring the light from the sky in a muddled reflection. My legs itch from the bites of the ruthless mosquitoes; but I am distracted by the site before me, holding my breath. The lone canoe that transports me from the lakes and rivers clunks against the shore. It is a familiar sound that I fell asleep to the night before. I remember the water being icy that morning during my swim, the rocks slippery covered in moss and slime. The seaweed, brushing against my leg was a snake for a moment. The landmass across from me is foreign. Technically, I stand on American soil and just a mere hundred yards separate me from Canada. The stunning quality of the way the trees contrast the water is something that doesn’t matter what country you are looking at, either way I can’t take my eyes off it. Time for breakfast.

what's my writing process?

Before beginning any writing assignment, I approach the topic with my writing process. The first step of this process is to make sure I completely understand the writing prompt. There's nothing worse than beginning to write something and then realizing you are answering the wrong thing! Then, I begin to think of multiple ideas that would answer the prompt completely. When you have more ideas it makes it easier to write, which is helpful when tackling a bigger paper. Once I come up with my main idea, I start to organize my thoughts onto paper. This helps me know where I am going with my writing, rather than have jummbled thoughts. Next I would finally begin to write! Rough drafts are never perfect, so when writing things through the first time I rarely slow down to check things because that is what editing and re-editing is for. :) During editing of a bigger or important writing, I make sure to have others read what I have written. A second set of eyes always helps catch errors that have occured. After editing it's time to wrap everything up. Making a fresh new copy and reading though my work a few more times I have gotten into the habit of checking for certain things. These things include: a strong opening statement, supporting ideas and a well-written and complete conclusion.